Expanding on my last post...I have a few thoughts/secrets to ellaborate on.
As much as I long to find my soulmate who "completes me" I really love my life 98% of the time.
Specifically, I love not having to worry if I look good enough. Yes, my physique sucks. Yes, I'll get to it. Right now, I have more important things to do than check my son into ANOTHER daycare while mommy has alone time, only to pick him up and put him STRAIGHT TO BED. My physique is a sacrifice I make being a full-time job holding single parent.
I know my everyday routine sounds nauseating to some, and lazy to others...trust me when I say it's the furthest thing from lazy one could imagine...
If you watch Desperate Housewives, I can TOTALLY SEE how Gabby lets herself go after having children. Being a mom is honestly like a full time job where you're constantly putting in overtime, NEVER getting paid for a vacation, and rarely (if ever) allowed to take a sick day. Can you see why I'd want to mentally check out after being alert and attentive for upwards of 12 straight hours?
Some days, I question how my life would change if I found that special someone to share my nights with. Would I still feel as exhausted with a second half around? I'd like to think not. Would I turn off the television to have late night romp sessions? I'd like to think so. Does the probability of finding that special someone decrease when I have a poor self image? Yup, but I go to sleep comforted in knowing that I'm working on it.