Two Times...

I'll be the first to admit, I felt as if I was jumping head first into two feet of water. Here I am, a recently turned 29 year old, being blown away by a lot of unsolicited attention from a hot 21 year old. Was this really happening to me?!

The answer was clear: Yup.

I didn't need to pinch myself. I was receiving daily texts (a gesture small, but made me feel special). A guy, a young hot guy, was interested in me.

There must be a hitch, right?

After our date, he wanted to come up that weekend. I was scheduled to move into a new house, but wanted to see him too...so I caved. I told him he could come up on Saturday night, but the catch was he couldn't sleep in my room, and my son was home so he would be introduced as mommy's friend, and that was that. To my surprise, he didn't have an issue with it.

He came up Saturday night, helped me move boxes around, and we watched a movie. We would up in my room for a short while, messed around like middle-schoolers, and he was sent on his way to the living room for the rest of the night. It was a PG-13 kind of night. Nothing too naughty happened. It was fun. I went to bed that night with a huge smile on my face.

Life was good....or so I thought.

The One Where We Met.

I sat in my car while an anxious ball of nerves grew in my stomach. The bold and daring me wanted to walk up to him the moment we met, push him up against the car, and make out with him. The realistic side of me completely wussed out.

We met at the restaurant, and first laid eyes on each other in the parking lot. 21 was very attractive. At the risk of sounding cliche, my heart literally skipped a beat, and I was tempted to pinch myself. Am I really on a date with this guy? Was he really here with ME?

We were (unfortunately) seated in the middle of the restaurant, but my spontaneous side got us moved to a less noisy booth. I took my lead from him, and we both ended up ordering water, and splitting some food. It was nice. He seemed nervous. I couldn't wipe a goofy "Is this really happening to me" grin off of my face.

He wanted to go to a movie, so we searched on my phone and settled on a 9pm showing of Man on a Ledge (side note: wait for it to come out on redbox). We were one of three couples in the theater. We wound up talking through the end of the movie, and seemed more interested in each other than anything on the big screen. It was nice. It was fun. It was a road I haven't traveled in a loooooong time.

After the movie, we walked to my car and decided we were going to hit up a local casino and see how our luck was running. On the way to my car, I received a text from a friend that said "Did you kiss him the second you saw him?" (I honestly had planned on doing it...), to which I couldn't help but laugh out loud. He asked me what was so funny, and I told him what my original plan was. He thought that would've been cool, but would've should've, could've....

Since there was no time like the present, before I started driving towards the casino, I looked at him and said, "Before we leave, I need to get something out of the way" and I leaned in and kissed him.

Yes, interwebs, I'm going to kiss and tell...cripes, I'm going to kiss and BRAG. Not only was he hot, and fun, but he was an amazing kisser. I put a stop to things and insisted we needed to head out. We made it to the casino, share some more hot moments (before security drove past and made us both feel a bit uncomfortable) and wound up turning $20 into $90.

I'd say it was a pretty hot date....

Introducing 21

Not only did I take the plunge at the end of January, but I also plunged myself back into the dating scene….This time, however, I approached things in a completely different light. Most of the time I had created dating profiles in the past, I had done so completely trying to sell myself, and make men realize that, although I might not look like a Barbie, I am an AWESOME PERSON SO DATE ME OR ELSE. Since that hadn’t seemed to work, and I had only been on a couple of extremely lame dates, I took the path less traveled; the path of putting very few words in the description section.

Example:

Interests – Life

First Date – Grab a cup of coffee and see what happens….

….I was very short, simple and to the point.

Much to my surprise, it kind of seemed to be working for me! I had received a handful of new messages within the first week. Sure, some were from creepy men that were older than my father, but the beauty of the internet is YOU DON’T NEED TO ANSWER (although, to save face, I answered with a polite response saying I wasn’t interested, but good luck in your search).

I think Karma finally decided to throw me a bone, because one day my inbox had a new message from someone I’ll call 21.

21 is just that, 21 years old. Since I was about to be turning 29 (gross), I was naturally very apprehensive to talk with him…He asked me what I was looking for, and I told him the truth, “A guy to go out with that will make me laugh, and whom I can have a great time with.” When I asked him what he wanted his response was literally “sex” which made me laugh. I tried to politely shoo him on his way, stating that if that’s what I was looking for I wouldn’t be online, and that I hope he had luck in his quest for his next hook up….but he didn’t go away. We kept messaging, and seemed to have clicked online. Some texting and a telephone conversation were followed up by setting up a first date.

Stay tuned…

Hello 2012.

The dawn of a new year typically has people all abuzz....

What should I do differently NEXT year?

Yes, I'm going to workout more and LOSE WEIGHT.

THANK GOD THIS YEAR IS OVER!

...you get the picture.

I'm not a huge "New Year's Resolution" person....in fact, I was kind of sad to see 2011 leave. It was a year I took my son to Disney Land. A year I popped my Vegas Cherry (and had an absolute blast doing so). A year I FINALLY re-enrolled in college. A year I bought a brand-spankin' new car.

2011 did me well.

You can imagine my lack of enthusiasm for saying goodbye.

I reluctantly allowed 2012 to grace me with it's presence, but let me tell you, the beginning of the year was a royal biotch for me.

• My son was struggling with Kindergarten
• My house hunt was coming to a dull slow pit of nothingness
• ...and then there was the time I rear ended someone on my way to work in the morning.

Throughout all of the negative, I've been lucky to find some smidgens of positive. The car wasn't as bad as it could've been post-wreck. I wasn't hurt, and neither was the other driver. Throughout a bit of intense coaching, my son seems to be on a better track with school. I found the house of my dreams (for the time being) and was able to workout a deal and close January 31st.

...and then there's the part about my love life. Many more details to share, although I'll be quite honest I kind of like holding this one close to my chest. It's been such a long time since I've had traces of romance in my life that I feel like hoarding it ALL. TO. MYSELF.

Seriously Life....Settle down already!!

I'm am crabby today. Downright pissy, actually...and instead of unloading on a friend and burdening them with my petty bullshit, I'm unloading it here...because, why the hell not?

My LOVELY mother (insert copious amounts of sarcasm here) and I have not been on speaking terms for over a week because she had the audacity to insinuate that I was a bad mother because I had asked for help watching my son to go to an all-attend work meeting which announced the layoff of seven employees from my office. Thankfully, I was not a victim of this layoff, however, my office is very small and very close, so a good friend of mine was. In lieu of going STRAIGHT to pick up my son when the meeting was over, I drove to my coworkers house...she had left the office BEFORE I had arrived for the meeting, and was sitting at home alone, wallowing in the news that she would no longer be employed.....so, I did what any friend would do...I went and made sure she wasn't alone, listened to her vent, and was there.

Ya know, it would be one thing if I unloaded my son on my mother and her husband ALL OF THE TIME, but the fact is, I don't, especially because bullshit like this happens. She (for whatever reason) becomes a jealous bitch, and I won't tolerate her snarky attitude. I am open and up front with her, and tell her I don't understand or appreciate her attitude and that I refuse to fight with her...but after I hear that she's spread her ugly opinion to my father (the man whom she cheated on and divorced 11 years ago) I consider the line crossed.

I'm done with her...which makes me equally happy and sad. Does anyone want to adopt a 28 year old single mother and her 5 year old son?

Speaking of five-year-olds...holy shit has he been pushing my buttons lately. Where do I even begin? Oh, I know! How about finding my work clothes smeared with his shit?! Yeah, you read that right. He literally decided to wipe his ass with MY CLOTHES!!!! I swear to god.

His response: "It will come out in the laundry, mom."

...You'd also think Kindergarten would be a BREEZE OF A YEAR for the parent of a school kid. WRONG. Kindergarten has been hell thus far. From a call from my son's teacher explaining that he was put in a Kindergarten version of detention called the "sit and think room" from bashing a kid in the face with his lunch box, to hearing daily that his name has been put on the board because he isn't listening...oh, and HERE's a good one...he had an older kid do his damn homework for him!! Yup...my son is "that kid."

Trying to be a "fun mom" we bought three pumpkins over the weekend as part of my son's reward for not getting his name on the board on Friday. Last night, as part of a reward for my son behaving at a wake we had to attend, we got to carve the pumpkins. OF COURSE the safe pumpkin knife broke after the first pumpkin...and OF COURSE it was 9pm so we couldn't run out to get another knife. Do I wait until today to carve the rest of my pumpkins? Nope. That would be TOO easy. Instead, I try to use my six inch serrated knife....I know you know where this is going.

Yup. I put that damn knife into the tip of my thumb. I let out over a dozen expletives, attempted to control the massive bleeding amongst the throbbing pain to see just how far the knife went into my thumb (about 3/4 of a centimeter, enough to warrant a lot of blood, not enough for me to justify an embarrassing trip to the ER). Typically, I could give two hoots if I was single or in a relationship...unless something tramatic like lodging a six inch serrated knife into the tip of your thumb happens....moments like those I hate the fact that I'm single and alone.

Not only was I fighting tears of physical pain, but those are the moments in my life when the tears of my loneliness creep in...and MASSIVE amounts of ugly-crying inevitably happen.

I responded as level headed as possible after that, shaking as I tried to unwrap fingertip band aids with my teeth, and downing 1000 mg of ibuprofen, then calling it a night.

Today hasn't been much better, although, as I got into my car at lunch time some sappy song was playing on the radio about keeping your head up and blah blah blah. I looked at my car radio, and said "Dude, I'm trying, alright?! Lay off."

Insider Secret.

Well folks, there's nothing like running into your crush as you're walking into the dermatology clinic, running into the love of your life's FIANCE while you're on a sporadic daytrip, or reading that Alaska is seriously contemplating moving back to MN on facebook to kick your week off to an amazing start.

Truth: My love life is still non-existent. I'm keeping extremely busy. So busy, in fact, that I become tired just thinking about it. I'm continuing to focus on myself, going to the gym 3, 4 and sometimes even 5 times a week (although you wouldn't guess it by looking at the scale, I digress). I've made appointments with a dermatologist to get my annoying acne (that only a 14 year old should have to endure) under control.

I'm trying to put me first. A rarity in the life of a full-time working, single mom.

I still find ways to have fun (read: sporadic day trip with a great friend), but I am still fighting my strong urge to want more.

For now, my only suggestion to you would be to invest in Duracell. I don't foresee my future without the copper-tops....at least not anytime soon.

Hello World

A few updates since my last post:

1. I popped my Vegas Cherry...and it was amazing
2. I am still single
3. I keep finding myself sexting with Alaska....even though my gut tells me I'm just keeping myself busy because I'm so damn lonely
4. I'm now the parent of a school-aged child
5. I am now using up six months of a free dating website because the first six months did not land me my "match"
6. I'm extremely tempted to break my dry spell by sleeping with a married man, which makes me feel even more low for multiple reasons
7. It's been so long since I've had sex that:

• My vibrator is sick of me
• I'm beginning to think I might be deemed a born again virgin

Care to weigh in?