Hello World

A few updates since my last post:

1. I popped my Vegas Cherry...and it was amazing
2. I am still single
3. I keep finding myself sexting with Alaska....even though my gut tells me I'm just keeping myself busy because I'm so damn lonely
4. I'm now the parent of a school-aged child
5. I am now using up six months of a free dating website because the first six months did not land me my "match"
6. I'm extremely tempted to break my dry spell by sleeping with a married man, which makes me feel even more low for multiple reasons
7. It's been so long since I've had sex that:

• My vibrator is sick of me
• I'm beginning to think I might be deemed a born again virgin

Care to weigh in?

Strings

I'm a walking, talking double standard. I want to have sex...but I won't allow myself to have sex.

My Friday night turned out to be a lot of fun. I was nervous there was going to be a lot of awkwardness, but my apprehensions quickly melted the second he arrived to pick me up. We headed out to a bar, fairly close to my house...ordered a drink, and started talking. His eyes were electrifying....I'm pretty sure that if a guy smells good, is taller than me, and has amazing eyes I would do him, I digress.

The conversation evolved around sports and silly stories from the past. Then it took a swift turn. He started telling me about a girl he was hung up on...a girl who wasn't into him the same way he was into her. My heart sank. It just wasn't appropriate conversation to have considering we were kinda sorta on a date. I brushed it off, but the thought of his hang up remained fresh in the back of my mind.

Our bar extravaganza only lasted a few hours, and included rum and cokes, patron, and a car bomb. I was ready to go balls to the wall...but he suggested we head back to my place for driving reasons. I agreed, and we were home before 11.

I'd like to pat myself on the back here...because I totally made the first move. When we got out of his car, before heading inside, I told him I wanted to tell him something...and then I kissed him. I had been wanting to kiss him since the second I saw him, and it was worth the wait.

We went inside, thanked and sent my friends on their way (who had spent the evening with baby boy)..and we were alone. Some pretty intense making out followed, and then he nonchallantly suggested we move it to the bedroom..I wouldn't allow it for a couple of reasons. As much as I wanted to have wild and crazy sex, I hadn't shaved my legs in over two months, and the thought of his hang-up was still fresh in my mind.

I don't want a one night stand...I've had half a dozen one night stands. I can't emotionally handle them at this point in my life, nor do I think it's appropriate to live my life hopping from one night stand to one night stand for the sake of baby boy. I want more, and I feel like I deserve more.

Here's my little dilemma. I WANT MAN-TENTION! I REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX! GRRRRR. Why does life have to CONSTANTLY throw emotional curve balls at me?!

I just don't know what to do. I'm proud of myself for holding my ground, but I almost regret it.

Yes, I want a boyfriend...and I think the thing that hurts the most is I keep finding these guys who only want sex, no strings attached...and that's not me. I have and will always have strings.

Dude.

I guess I kind of have a date with a guy on Friday(?). I don't really know what to think of it...I mean, he's my age, and I think he's attractive (aka, I'd totally "do him"..lol)

Here's the catch: He's friends with my brother.

I THINK my brother is just being protective, but his mixed signals about me and Dude hanging out makes me wonder...

When I questioned Brother about if it was cool that I hung out with Dude, he said he didn't care. When I questioned Brother if he thought Dude and I would get along, I was met with a murky response. Yes, my brother knows Dude quite well...but unless he tells me I am crazy for hanging out with Dude, the plans are going to be kept.

The plan for Dude and I is to meet and go out to a bar. I've officially challenged him to a tequila shot-off since I hardly remember the last shots we did together. The night is definitely going to be casual, and hopefully filled with a lot of laughs. I'm excited to be going out with a cute boy that I may or may not have already kissed (cough::the tequila shots of three weeks ago were my demise::cough).

This mama is ready for some much needed man-tention..that's for sure!

King Sized

Mama gets a king sized bed tonight....Solo.

You see, I'm on a business trip for a meeting. The hotel is lovely. The bed is HUGE! I feel like I might get lost in it while I'm sleeping tonight!

Brian in Mpls...Where are ya when I need ya? ;-)