Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Chemistry = Passion (C=P).

I've recently met someone new, but I have a problem...I don't feel like I have a lot of chemistry with him. Sure, he's good looking. Sure, I think he's attractive. But there's something missing. A certain spark, if you will. I'm bothered because I'm having such a difficult time pinpointing the issue.

I can't decided if the chemistry is lacking because he's such a nice guy. Most of the men I've attempted to date in the past I've had a spark with. However, all of those sparks happened BEFORE I had a child. This is the first really nice guy I've met since having a child. Am I holding myself back?

Another catch? We've known each other since we were in diapers....but hadn't seen each other in over ten years. I'll be honest when I tell you how nervous I am to put this information out on the internet...I would never, in a million years, want to hurt his feelings.

A third catch? I'm not quite sure what the point of us hanging out is. Are we hanging out as JUST friends? Does he want to actually date? Does he feel the same way I do? Do I bring it up to him?

We've only hung out twice (once at night*, which started and ended with a hug), and once in the afternoon** (where baby boy was present....I allowed the exception since he's known me for such a long time, otherwise, I refuse to introduce baby boy to a man I'm dating...at least until I'm certain he'll be sticking around) (which ended with TWO goodbye hugs....kind of odd if you ask me).

Am I over analyzing this? YES! I can't help it. Seriously.

Now, this next bit of info makes me uneasy to admit....BUT, is settling the right thing to do if the relationship (dating or otherwise) lacks passion? I feel like I want and need more. I know none of my past relationships have worked, and that the start of this relationship feels SO MUCH DIFFERENT than my past failed attempts...and different isn't bad...but in this instance I don't feel like lack of passion is something I'm willing to compromise.

What to do...what to do! (hmph).

*we split all tabs...went to three different bars...played nintendo, laughed a bit, caught up....but again, I didn't feel any sparks.

**he came over to watch a football game.