Sure I'm going to risk sounding more manic than a committed person; but that moment when anxiety sets in and you realize that yes, in fact, you are alone....yeah, that moment sucks.
It took me almost THREE SEPARATE attempts to end things with married guy. Not three attempts because I was pussy footing around the situation; three attempts because he was too dense to smell what I was stepping in. I told him via text twice (only a couple of days apart) that I refused to be the other woman. I told reminded him that at the end of the day he was married, and it just wasn't fair. I told him we could start speaking again after his divorce was final....both of my attempts to be clear as crystal were said via text (a safe route as it would provide me with documentation that yes, I was standing my ground). As it went, he wouldn't even go a couple of hours before texting me again, or commenting on something I had posted on Facebook.
Then the text came through that "I really want to speak with you on the phone" blah blah blah. His wife had brought up the divorce and he was really excited because he felt as if it was actually going to happen. Now, I'm all for a guy who has been cheating on his wife for the past five years to finally go through with getting a divorce; but I WILL NOT be a cheering section for an idiot. However, I humored his request and we spoke on the phone.
The odd part about the conversation was how he avoided speaking about the divorce for the first ten minutes we were talking...It made me angry, so I blurted it out the fact there was an elephant, (a rather large pink polka dotted elephant) in the room.
He got quiet.
Then he started to sound like he was excited as he verbally explained how the conversation between him and his wife had gone. I sat silent, then told him we couldn't speak until after the divorce was finalized. His reply (the reply he also gave me via text more than once) was "I know." I couldn't help but quickly chime in "NO, NO YOU DON'T KNOW.....AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU ARE MARRIED. THIS ISN'T RIGHT." All would have been fine and dandy; chances are, he would have given me "space" for about an hour, then text me...and the cycle would have kept repeating.
For whatever reason, I was inspired while speaking on the phone with him...Inspired to try to push him away to the point where history wouldn't keep repeating itself. What better way to push a guy away then tell him "Hey, I can't be what you need right now. I just can't. So if you happen to find a girlfriend and you want to bring her around that's fine with me." (Insert dagger in chest, twist, remove).
Yeah...he didn't like hearing that.
He promptly followed up through his own clear actions by removing me as a friend on facebook, and blocking me. Sure, it was bittersweet in that it's something I was meaning to do. The "girl" inside of me is kind of pissed I didn't have the balls to do it; but then again I wasn't trying to be mean in this entire situation rather respectful, honest and fair (three concepts I believe Married guy falls short of, even in his 6'7 stature).