Friday, January 29, 2010

A New Beginning?

When people switch on survival mode, they do desperate things. Born the phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures".

I have done something desperate. In an effort to rectify my financial stress from being the "sole provider" for myself and my son, I applied for a different job.

I'm so afraid I've done the wrong thing...but at the same time I'm excited I've done the right thing.

See, I love love love love love the current company I work with. (Enter the but) But....I feel like I could do more, and when it comes down to it, I feel like I should be making more money. Each biweekly pay period I dwindle my checking account down to mere cents. It's stressful. It sucks. I need it to change for the sake of my sanity.

During my first session, I was asked if I could wish for one thing, what would it be? I smirked because the answer that IMMEDIATELY popped into my head felt selfish, although it's mostly selfless.

I wished for a winning lottery ticket.

I went onto explain how a winning lottery ticket would positively affect myself and my son. I would not have to worry (as much) about my checking account balance. I could afford a house with a fenced in yard for myself and baby boy. I would be able to entertain friends on a more frequent basis. I'd be able to meet friends out for dinner more often. These things would make me elated...and a happy mom translates to a happy baby boy.

When my friend forwarded me an open position that entailed a position with a (rather large) pay increase, I was EXTREMELY intrigued. (Re-Enter the But) But...the position was at a company where I knew someone. This someone was a person who had been laid off from my current company. This someone was very close with many people in my office. This someone would most likely find out that I applied for this position, and I could also see this someone telling my current company about my application.

What to do?!

After mulling over my options (literally) all day...I did it. To ease my doubts about my application, I added a clause to my cover letter that acknowledged the ties between my new employer and my current employer, appreciating their confidentiality.

Honestly, I doubt I'll get the position (which was another huge reason why I was apprehensive about risking my current employer finding out...I mean, why risk it when it's not a sure thing??). The new position requires an associates degree plus five years managerial experience (which I don't have me)...but again...I felt like I HAD to try.

Here's to hoping my new venture stays confidential.... And if it doesn't, here's to hoping I have the strength to cope with the consequences!

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