Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Shrinkin.

With the doom and gloom that seems to have been haunting me the past few weeks, I decided to utilize the Employee Assistance Program at my work. I've done this once before at the last place I worked at (about 3.5 years ago), and WHOA BOY..there's a reason why I haven't been back in over three years.

Rewind to 3.5 years ago.
  • I was a new mom.
  • I was a new SINGLE mom.
  • I worked in a HORRIBLE environment full of caddy, snide, evil SOB's.
  • I cried. all. the. time. (hello a smidgen of post-pardom...don't judge)

The appointment was close to my house. I found someone to watch baby boy, and walked in not knowing what to expect, but doing my darnedest to keep an open mind because I felt like I was sinking in a pit of quicksand.

The lady I poured my heart out to was absolutely no help. She told me my "issues" most likely stemmed from not eating cottage cheese and triscuits in the morning. While I have absolutely NOTHING against cottage cheese and triscuits, they were NOT the resolution to my family and money situation. Needless to say, I walked out feeling even more lost, and cried until I was sick of crying.

Fast forward to today.

I'm really not sure what to expect, although, I feel like I'm at a point that I need to speak with SOMEONE because:

  1. My coworkers DON'T need to hear my personal gripes.
  2. I have a really difficult time expressing my feelings to my parents without the conversation getting twisted into a dramatic fight.
  3. I don't feel like my friends have the time for me to vent, especially because the issues I have to vent about are pretty heavy.
  4. I want to be able to speak to someone and get good, sound feedback, as well as direction about what I should do to resolve the demons that seem to haunt me.

So peeps... Wish me luck. What's the worst that could happen? She'll tell me to eat raisins and black licorice daily (GASP!).

1 comment:

AirmanMom said...

keep us posted.
I've been thinking of you and praying you are ok.
kisses to baby boy :)
~AM