Monday, January 25, 2010

Once a Month

On any given Sunday, I'm usually happy and content with my life. It seems that my hormones love to get the best of me once a month.

  • I feel anxiety weigh me down.
  • I am snappy without realizing it.
  • I say things that I mean, but in a way that is totally out of line.
  • I feel extremely alone.

I haven't had much to update the world with lately...I'm still single. I'm still surviving (some days feel like more of a struggle to survive than others, I digress). I still (thankfully) have a job. I'm still relatively healthy.

However, once a month, I seem to have a "lack-of-support breakdown". I ugly cry. I think "why me?" I crave extra support from my parents, and always seem to be left disappointed. I forget the things my parents do for me, instead focusing on the things they don't do for me...and I feel JUSTIFIED in doing so....for no reason.

Once a month, I feel like I shouldn't be a mom. Once a month, I feel like I'm suffocating. Once a month, I cry because I want to be held, and told it's going to be okay.

Once a fricken' month.

This past weekend was my "once a month".

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