Immature Messages.

Electronic communication is dangerous; a common lesson I remember hearing the first time when I was still in high school.  Back then, the largest "warning" came to us regarding email.  I distinctly recall being told that once you send something, you can never get it back.  The concept was reinforced in a business writing course I took a couple of years ago.  The perplexing notion that something can be written so easily via electronic text has enveloped most of today's modern society; the trick, you ask, is acquiring a mili-ounce of patience to walk away from an intense message, and return later to reread your text (aka rehearsability) so you are sure the message you send is accurate and/or the message you're really comfortable conveying (comfortable in the sense that you are truly willing to accept and face the consequences your words could potentially bring you).

Stepping off my soapbox for a second, I want to take a minute to admit the difficulty to have that mili-ounce of patience to stop yourself from sending the raging email or text message.  If it were easy, I wouldn't have received a text at midnight from Married guy last night that read:

Note:  I haven't responded to any of his texts since our phone conversation.  I haven't even reached out to him after discovering he had unfriended me on Facebook.  Why is this the third time he's tried cutting me down in just as many days?  I guess he's fallen victim to NOT having a mili-ounce of patience to prevent himself from sending something he might later regret...then again, with the way this dude has been acting perhaps he wants to just squash things for good.  I don't know, all I can do is drive myself crazy with assumptions.

I'll admit, his texts hurt.  I wouldn't go as far to say they make me feel like shit, but I'll certainly admit they hurt.  Why?  Because I know I've been respectful and fair to him.  I know I've been honest and I can't hold myself accountable for his actions based upon the fact that he has chosen not to hear me (all three times we spoke about not speaking until the divorce was final).

I'm thankful he's shown me his true colors of bitter scorn before I got too deep into this situation.  I know I deserve a better person in my life; one who will be honest, and respectful even when we fall upon the unavoidable disagreement.  I know it's not going to be an easy road to find that special person to compliment me, but I still haven't given up hope.  He's out there, so for the moment I'm going to keep doing me and secretively look forward to the day I can look back at my solo years and bid them farewell.