The dinner that wasn't

Baby boy was up at 6:30 on Sunday morning. Yeah, you read that right...6:30am. I blinked my eyes, and laid in bed for an hour or so. By 7:30 we were at the table, eating Life cereal. I was mentally going through my game-plan.

My house was literally a disaster zone. The combination of the winter, and lack of motivation had left me with a mess. I wish I had a picture of it, but I'm really glad I don't...it was embarrassing. Let's just say my artificial christmas tree was still standing in all of its glory.

Immediately following breakfast I got to work. Eight loads of laundry, three loads of dishes through the dishwasher, sweeping and moping the floor, vaccuming, taking down the tree, rearranging my living room, decluttering. You name it, if it had to do with cleaning, I probably did it.

All the while I was watching the clock. He was supposed to be over at 6 for dinner, and I needed to shower, and run to the grocery store after cleaning was over. Let me just tell you, my afternoon shower was the most rewarding shower I've had in a while!

At 5pm I sat in my robe on the couch. I knew I was cutting it close on time, but I also knew I could pull it off. I went to check my phone and found two text messages. The first was from a great friend, and read: "Good Luck tonight! I hope everything goes well." The second read: "I just got a call from a friend of my parents about a job opportunity, and i am afraid i am going to pass on dinner."

WTF.

I was dignified in my response, saying "Bummer. Good luck with everything. Ttyl."

So there ya have it. The dinner that wasn't.

Honestly, I was bummed. At the exact same time, I wasn't surprised....and I only say that because of the history (or lack there of) with him.

The one positive thing that came of Sunday? I've got a pretty darn clean home!!

WARNING!

I think I need a Friend with Benefit. The only reason why I am declaring this is because I seem to get hung up on guys that I am dating.

Why do I do this? I haven't a clue.


I really need to take about twenty steps back with TB. I'll be honest...I'm quite sure that I'm scaring him away. I am a woman who functions on communication, and he is a bit broken from his last relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to compromise who I am for a guy...but I am trying to grasp onto a bit of patience which seems to disappear the second I am not getting what I want, when I want it.

I think my lack of "constantly getting what I want" is the main thing that deters me from dating. Right now, mama wants "man-tention." Right now, mama's not gettin "man-tention." So...like I said...I think I need a Friend with Benefit, ASAP! (Unless someone else has another, less slutty suggestion!! ANYBODY?)