Life, up to date:
1) Still single
2) Still wish I wasn't
3) Beginning to slowly realize being single isn't at bad as I always make it out to be
4) I have a great appreciation for AA batteries
5) I have spent many hours this week cooking delicious meals, and equal hours enjoying said meals
6) I've got a short work week ahead of me, and have plans to take a fun day trip!!
7) Have re-realized that baby boys laughter is the most heartwarming noise I've ever laid ears on
8) As often as I've felt alone, I've managed to remind myself that life is mostly about attitude and choice
9) I now choose to be happy, even in the face of frustration
10) I've always felt like a mixture of Bridget Jones and that chick from Jerry McGuire. One could only be so lucky!! I've got a great life, awesome baby boy, and my health.. I don't need a psycho Tom Cruise in my life...now, a sexy British man? Yeah, I'll keep dreaming about that one!
Yes, a bullet post is slightly week and boring...but it encompasses my life as of late: kinda boring, a huge contradiction with moments of awesomeness. How have things been in your world?
Showing posts with label longing to find the guy that's into me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label longing to find the guy that's into me. Show all posts
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Ring of Fire
Some days, I walk around with an air of pride because I am a mom. In a way, it is a badge that states: "I was good/hot/sexy enough for a man to have sex with me."
Today, I walk around with a burden that is becomes heavier each time it comes around. You see, I don't have the almighty wedding ring, nor am I anywhere near to acquiring one. Mainly because I'm obviously not dating anyone, and really have no potential suitors in my near future.
Why do I think being married is Almighty? Because, I envision my non-existent marriage to be with someone who completes me...who makes me a better person, and who is willing to have sex with me 24-7...no questions asked.
Yes, I skipped out on the marriage before the kid...but that doesn't make me any less qualified to be an amazing wife. If anything, it proves to a man that I'd make a(n)great alright mom. I've willingly accepted the fact that I am no longer the highest thing/person on my priority list 9 times out of 10.
I'm not one of those women who needs to get married NOW...but I'm definitely a girl who day dreams about the day mr. right walks into her life...and also of a day where I can say goodbye to mr. right-now.
I look at men and women who wear wedding rings and envy them. They've found the person who completes them (at least, that's what I tell myself). Their lives may not be picturesque, but it's a pretty intense thing to verbally, emotionally and even sometimes spiritually commit yourself to another being....to me, it's powerful and something I strive for.
My heart hopes it happens sooner than later...because all of these lonely nights after baby boy is in bed are sure starting to pay their toll on me.
Today, I walk around with a burden that is becomes heavier each time it comes around. You see, I don't have the almighty wedding ring, nor am I anywhere near to acquiring one. Mainly because I'm obviously not dating anyone, and really have no potential suitors in my near future.
Why do I think being married is Almighty? Because, I envision my non-existent marriage to be with someone who completes me...who makes me a better person, and who is willing to have sex with me 24-7...no questions asked.
Yes, I skipped out on the marriage before the kid...but that doesn't make me any less qualified to be an amazing wife. If anything, it proves to a man that I'd make a(n)
I'm not one of those women who needs to get married NOW...but I'm definitely a girl who day dreams about the day mr. right walks into her life...and also of a day where I can say goodbye to mr. right-now.
I look at men and women who wear wedding rings and envy them. They've found the person who completes them (at least, that's what I tell myself). Their lives may not be picturesque, but it's a pretty intense thing to verbally, emotionally and even sometimes spiritually commit yourself to another being....to me, it's powerful and something I strive for.
My heart hopes it happens sooner than later...because all of these lonely nights after baby boy is in bed are sure starting to pay their toll on me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My decision...
I had been heavily weighing my options about what I should do about TB.
Call him? Meh, I don't really think talking on the phone is a "guy thing."
Email him? Meh, I'm so OVER emailing!!
And then, it happened....we were both signed onto instant messenger (enter bells going DING DING DING!)
Even via IM, I was nervous as ALL getup to ask him the typical girl questions "How do you think things are going? What are your thoughts?"...I swallowed my pride, typed away and clicked send. I very promptly received "I don't know. That's such a typical guy answer." (I wasn't sure about where this convo was going...but my heart was racing a million miles a minute.)
To skip straight to the good stuff, I found out he had been separated since March, and the divorce was final as of June. (YAY!) I also found out he feels like he's 16 again (which kind of had me going "huh?!") He told me he was indecisive around me, and couldn't figure out why....and TB also said he's "really had fun every time we've been out together."
Despite the fun times we've shared, he confessed that he goes back and forth about if he's ready to date or not. I've been spared the gory details of his divorce (which I KNOW is for the better, but the curious cat inside of me REALLY wants to know).
This whole situation is wreaking of "he's just not that into you." Call me crazy, but I firmly believe if a guy wants to be with you, he'll be with you (and vice versa).
Although he told me he wouldn't expect me to wait for him to make up his mind, I don't know if I'm ready to give up on a good guy yet. I'm still as available as I was before the two of us started hanging out....but I'm reserving a sliver of my heart in hopes he'll step out of his funk and that we can give this thing (whatever it may be) a go.
Time will certainly tell.
Call him? Meh, I don't really think talking on the phone is a "guy thing."
Email him? Meh, I'm so OVER emailing!!
And then, it happened....we were both signed onto instant messenger (enter bells going DING DING DING!)
Even via IM, I was nervous as ALL getup to ask him the typical girl questions "How do you think things are going? What are your thoughts?"...I swallowed my pride, typed away and clicked send. I very promptly received "I don't know. That's such a typical guy answer." (I wasn't sure about where this convo was going...but my heart was racing a million miles a minute.)
To skip straight to the good stuff, I found out he had been separated since March, and the divorce was final as of June. (YAY!) I also found out he feels like he's 16 again (which kind of had me going "huh?!") He told me he was indecisive around me, and couldn't figure out why....and TB also said he's "really had fun every time we've been out together."
Despite the fun times we've shared, he confessed that he goes back and forth about if he's ready to date or not. I've been spared the gory details of his divorce (which I KNOW is for the better, but the curious cat inside of me REALLY wants to know).
This whole situation is wreaking of "he's just not that into you." Call me crazy, but I firmly believe if a guy wants to be with you, he'll be with you (and vice versa).
Although he told me he wouldn't expect me to wait for him to make up his mind, I don't know if I'm ready to give up on a good guy yet. I'm still as available as I was before the two of us started hanging out....but I'm reserving a sliver of my heart in hopes he'll step out of his funk and that we can give this thing (whatever it may be) a go.
Time will certainly tell.
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