WARNING! VERY SCATTERBRAINED POST AHEAD!

Chemistry = Passion (C=P).

I've recently met someone new, but I have a problem...I don't feel like I have a lot of chemistry with him. Sure, he's good looking. Sure, I think he's attractive. But there's something missing. A certain spark, if you will. I'm bothered because I'm having such a difficult time pinpointing the issue.

I can't decided if the chemistry is lacking because he's such a nice guy. Most of the men I've attempted to date in the past I've had a spark with. However, all of those sparks happened BEFORE I had a child. This is the first really nice guy I've met since having a child. Am I holding myself back?

Another catch? We've known each other since we were in diapers....but hadn't seen each other in over ten years. I'll be honest when I tell you how nervous I am to put this information out on the internet...I would never, in a million years, want to hurt his feelings.

A third catch? I'm not quite sure what the point of us hanging out is. Are we hanging out as JUST friends? Does he want to actually date? Does he feel the same way I do? Do I bring it up to him?

We've only hung out twice (once at night*, which started and ended with a hug), and once in the afternoon** (where baby boy was present....I allowed the exception since he's known me for such a long time, otherwise, I refuse to introduce baby boy to a man I'm dating...at least until I'm certain he'll be sticking around) (which ended with TWO goodbye hugs....kind of odd if you ask me).

Am I over analyzing this? YES! I can't help it. Seriously.

Now, this next bit of info makes me uneasy to admit....BUT, is settling the right thing to do if the relationship (dating or otherwise) lacks passion? I feel like I want and need more. I know none of my past relationships have worked, and that the start of this relationship feels SO MUCH DIFFERENT than my past failed attempts...and different isn't bad...but in this instance I don't feel like lack of passion is something I'm willing to compromise.

What to do...what to do! (hmph).

*we split all tabs...went to three different bars...played nintendo, laughed a bit, caught up....but again, I didn't feel any sparks.

**he came over to watch a football game.

Dude.

I guess I kind of have a date with a guy on Friday(?). I don't really know what to think of it...I mean, he's my age, and I think he's attractive (aka, I'd totally "do him"..lol)

Here's the catch: He's friends with my brother.

I THINK my brother is just being protective, but his mixed signals about me and Dude hanging out makes me wonder...

When I questioned Brother about if it was cool that I hung out with Dude, he said he didn't care. When I questioned Brother if he thought Dude and I would get along, I was met with a murky response. Yes, my brother knows Dude quite well...but unless he tells me I am crazy for hanging out with Dude, the plans are going to be kept.

The plan for Dude and I is to meet and go out to a bar. I've officially challenged him to a tequila shot-off since I hardly remember the last shots we did together. The night is definitely going to be casual, and hopefully filled with a lot of laughs. I'm excited to be going out with a cute boy that I may or may not have already kissed (cough::the tequila shots of three weeks ago were my demise::cough).

This mama is ready for some much needed man-tention..that's for sure!