I'm effed.

Today marks the start of a wellness challenge in my company. It's pretty cool knowing that your company is willing to fork out money for a program to help their employees get fit (even though they're only doing so to renegotiate lower insurance policies, I digress).

Our program started with a company coming to our office to take initial measurements of height and weight to calculate our BMI. Those participating were then placed on a team and are competing with other office teams to lose weight for cash incentives.

Today, I discovered I would need to lose (brace yourselves..) 70 lbs in order to reach a healthy weight (insert panicky tears here).

How ironic is it that on the first day of this activity, all I want to do is devour a gallon of ice cream?

I'm trying to make healthy choices...really, I am. I've been on a healthier diet kick since March 12th, where I've cut down my dairy consumption significantly, incorporated whole grains, fresh fruit and veggies almost daily, AND haven't eaten red meat, chicken or pork.

Exercise is my arsenic.

I can't find an ounce of motivation to bring me past the point of already feeling to defeated to exercise. OH MAH GAH it is so frustrating.

I know the simple steps to losing weight, but I've never been able to follow through with them.

1. diet
2. exercise
3. diet (meaning, make healthy choices that don't include candy and crap food)

blah blah blah.

My optimism for pulling this off is next to nothing. Granted, I'm not even expecting myself to lose 45 lbs....but for the love of god can something just start clicking for me in terms of weight loss? I'm an expert at packing it on, but have NEVER cut weight.

A little (lot) of help please?

p.s. this post brought to you by the Poor Me Foundation.