Monday, April 2, 2012

My On-Going Conundrum

Here's something I've been struggling with for a handful of years now: The Single Girl's Conundrum.

What is this phenomenon, you ask? Well let me tell you. It's the phenomenon where married women are CONVINCED you're going to sleep with their husbands. It happens to me everywhere. I must secretively wear a bright flashing sign that reads "I'M A WHORE AND YES, I AM GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOUR HUSBAND" above my head that only married women can see (note: only the whore part of the sign is actually true, I digress).

Newsflash people: I've got morals. I'm NOT going to sleep with your husband (unless your husband is, in fact, Joe Mauer, in which case, all bets are off). I'm not even that attractive (which isn't a poor sad attempt to cut myself down....but the moment I compare myself to other women I begin to understand, physically speaking, why I'm single).

I'm not kidding when I say this happens to me everywhere. Work, outside of work, you name it.

So ladies, unwind your panties. Just because a SINGLE girl is nice to your husband, enjoys hanging out with him, and has semi-flirtatious fun with him, it doesn't mean she's going to bone him. I mean, really.

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