Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Curse of the Text Message

The text…..I loathe the text for multiple reasons, and when I share my initial disdain I’m greeted with nothing but gasps and odd looks. People have become dependent on the text, and I think that’s BS. Sure, I’ve been known to text here and there, but there’s so much MORE to be said about an actual conversation with someone, where non-verbal cues such as tone of voice play a large roll when you’re communicating your message.

I actually have a few specific reasons why I hate texting:

1. It’s completely impersonal

2. It’s WAY MORE distracting to others around you (specifically others you’re hanging out with) if you’ve got your nose in your phone and your thumbs moving a billion miles a minutes when the conversation you’re desperately trying to have with the person you’re texting could be over and done within three minutes

3. It’s way too damn immediate for comfort…no different than email really. You can spout off a message, be it cruel or kind, hit the send button and POOF! It’s out there, for the recipient to read and become extremely offended.

Let me elaborate a little more on the lovely reason number three….

People, it’s no secret (here) that there is man in my life I consider the one that got away (although, in looking back through my archives, trying to find a link to the stories of HIM, I came up empty…either I renamed him incredibly well, to the point that I can’t find my tales, or I refused to write about him, I digress…). To refresh your memory, I’ve known said man since I was a senior in high school. We have shared some AMAZING moments in the past ten+ years. Moments that included bar hopping in a small town, jumping in puddles, a couple of make-out sessions, and even a candle lit evening with a bubble bath (one of my most cherished memories, no joke).

I can’t put my thumb on it, but the timing for us NEVER SEEMED TO WORK. Be it we lived in hours apart, one of us was dating someone, then the roles would reverse, etc. etc. etc. It was almost as if karma was playing a cruel trick on my heart. Then, there was the time at the State Fair. The time when I was three months preggo (which, if you aren’t familiar, is a time when a girl looks like she has severe muffin top syndrome, but doesn’t quite look like she’s brewing a baby in her stomach) and at the fair with my ex-bf turned friend. He was there with a girlfriend….and when we ran into each other it was almost as if nobody else existed. Damn it was a great moment…but then we parted ways, and my continued to feel the pain from our poor timing.

Through the grace of god, Facebook was created…which not only gave me the opportunity to secretly (STALK) catch up on things going on in his life, but allowed me the platform to get together with him (although, at this point in my life, I was a single mom of an 18 month old…see? Poor timing).

He’s been engaged for a while now….set to get married this coming fall. I’m happy for him because I want him to be happy, but my stomach churns because we never had a chance to see if it would or wouldn’t have worked.

(stick with me people, I’m slowly but surely getting to my point)

Last night, his Facebook message was this: “I have the night off with nothing to do” so OF COURSE I COULDN’T HELP BUT PICK UP MY PHONE AND TEXT HIM (WHY PEOPLE?!?! WHY?!?!)

“I’m offended you didn’t call me since you had the night off”

…and so it began….a texting conversation that lasted about an hour. I wound up telling him most of what I had been bottling up inside of me for the past seven years. He told me he had wanted to try to date seven years ago….which broke my heart even more. I literally ugly cried while I typed out my feelings. It was really quite sad and pathetic….and nothing he wanted or needed to hear, rather something I needed to tell him. Perhaps I’ve told him these things in the past, but as his wedding date creeps near, I can’t control how upset the thought of things never actually happening between us make me.

I don’t regret the texting last night…but I’d be damned to say that conversation would’ve taken place before the text message existed.

No comments: