Monday, March 29, 2010

Dear Dad,

What I want to say to him:

When we have discussions like yesterday morning, I feel like I will never be good enough for you. I was extremely afraid of telling you about Ala-Non because I was afraid my words and feelings would be twisted around...which is EXACTLY what was done. I am so hurt by the way I was treated yesterday words cannot even begin to describe.

As I sit here trying to formulate my thoughts (so I can be as simple and clear and possible), I am clouded by fear that you will also turn this email around on me in some way, shape or form...and if that fear of speaking the truth to you isn't mental abuse, I don't know what is.

I've been clear and honest with you...yesterday's conversation and the handful of conversations we've had that have ended the exact same way have played an enormous toll on my spirit. My heart tells me you care, but your words and actions are very contradictory and (for the sake of repeating myself) very hurtful.

Honestly, Dad, I just don't feel like there's anything I can do or say to make you proud of me. I wish I could apologize but I am not sorry. I'm a great person. I have a great little boy. Any person would be lucky to know me, or to spend time with me. I cannot control if you choose to see, or acknowledge those truths.

What I've said to him since yesterday:


1 comment:

doahleigh said...

Sometimes people can't hear you no matter how clearly you same things to them...