Monday, June 28, 2010

Growing a nutshell

In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed three close friendships fizzle before my eyes. The change had always been a tough pill for me to swallow, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve also grown wiser.

Recently, a close friendship fizzled into nothing, over virtually nothing. Hurtful things were thrown my way, followed up by childish immaturity's on behalf of the friend that no longer is. My feelings were hurt, and I maturely said everything I needed to say and then some. The difference between the three friendships I’d seen turn to dust was this…

Back in the day, it was a gradual process. For the most part, we stopped hanging out, and overtime grew apart. Bridges were never burned. We just so happened to grow in different directions.

The second friendship came to a crashing stop over a boy. Nasty letters were typed out and hand delivered. Extremely horrible phone calls were exchanged. I was just as guilty as the other. Many, many tears were shed (specifically on my behalf). Bridges were DEFINITELY burned.

Most recently, a friendship of mine dissolved over the internet. Everything felt disconnected and my jaw still drops when I think about it. A single IM her way resulted in (what I could only interpret as) a friendship-meltdown of epic proportions. I wrote a couple of email messages apologizing and attempting to explain the situation as I saw it. She responded with hurtful personal attacking comments that had absolutely nothing to do with what the original issue was about. And that was that. We are no longer speaking.

I’ve handled myself extremely well in the face of this friendship dissolving. I haven’t said or breathed an ill word about her, even in the face of dramatic comments I’ve heard from others (specifically about what she’s said to others about me and the rift our so called friendship was going through). I’ve taken the high road. I have nothing to regret. In fact, I feel extremely mature in my “old age.” I’ve looked at the friendship I’ve had with this person, and truly believe the friendship had and has run its course.

What will be, will be.

I’ll make new friends, dare I say, better friends. Better friends because I now know what to look for in people based on my past experiences. I’m sure she’ll do the same. I’m thankful I can sleep easy knowing I’ve treated those around me with respect and dignity, just as I had hoped others around me could do, although had failed with flying colors.

No, I don’t have a circle of 50 acquaintances. Sure, I only hold a few close friends….to me, life is about quality, and not quantity.

Me in a nutshell:

  • I’m single.
  • I have an amazing son.
  • I work for a great company and love going to my job every day.
  • I’m genuine.
  • I’m happy.

Life is good.

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