Friday, May 8, 2009

I feel defeated.

In terms of being a single person, I feel completely defeated. I always seem to attract losers, and nary get an a call from someone I know saying they've met someone for me. This makes me sad. I don't know how to put myself out there for the good guys to find me. I am clueless.

I sit, and watch most of the single people I know. They have dated so many more people than I have. Shared so many more experiences. They've been the one that men eye first. While I'm happy for their experiences, I sit and wonder "why can't that be me?"

It's not that I want someone to do the work for me, but I want to be the one that men desire to be with. It's been a looooooong time since I've felt desired by a man about five plus years in all honesty). I can't figure out what I'm doing to deter men from wanting to get to know me, or wanting to hang out with me.

I miss the feeling of a man's touch.

I miss feeling needed and wanted in a passionate way.

I feel as if I need a dating coach to teach me how to attract Mr. Right. Sad, isn't it? I don't understand why I don't feel wired to be attractive. Maybe my self doubt comes from years of watching others find their special someone...while I sit in the background alone.

I know I've said that I'm happy with my life, and I am. I feel like I have old wounds reopened and salt poured into them everytime I meet a single guy, and find out a week later that said single guy has started dating someone I know. It sucks because it seems to happen about once a month, and as happy as I am for my friends, I'm ready for it to be my turn.

2 comments:

Mandy said...

Hugs.

hand in there.

brookem said...

oh i hear you. i think all single girls have been where you are. try not to be so hard on yourself! im sure there are a gazillion fabulous things about you that you don't give yourself credit for. hang in there.