Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Price Check, Aisle SERIOUSLY?!

I was pushing three grocery bags full of vegetables with a fresh outlook on life to my car (over my lunch break). It was a GORGEOUS sunny November day...the kind we don't see in Minnesota very often. The air was warm, the sun was bright, life was good.

Today was different, although I didn't know it yet.

I happily pushed my shopping cart to my car, unloaded my loot, and went to push the shopping cart to the cart rack. As I was walking, I passed a man. Tall, with an eight o'clock shadow hugging his face. He was dressed casual, but nice. His shoes were well kept, and made from brown leather.

"Hi" he said to me as I passed him. It was a familiar "hi." I politely responded and then started racking my brain. Why did he seem like he knew me? Am I supposed to know him? WHAT IS GOING ON?!

When I turned around after returning my cart, he was standing still, staring at me.

"I'm totally checking you out." He was more forward than a drunk man at bar close time.

"Oh, ok"...that was the best I could come up with.

I We walked back towards my car...He was flooding me with compliments.

"I am so attracted to you. I normally don't do this, but I like to go after things that I like, and what can I say? I am really really attracted to you."

I could physically hear every word from his mouth, but at the same time it fell upon deaf ears because my inner conscious was screaming at me: IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING TO ME? IS THIS GUY CRAZY? IS HE GOING TO TRY TO KIDNAP ME? OH SHIT, HE'S A PSYCHO SERIAL KILLING RAPIST!!! (OBVIOUSLY I have trust issues, I digress).

"Do a lot of guys talk to you and tell you this? I'm sure they do. How do I say this? I am really attracted to large chests" BOOM, there it was....WHO SAYS THAT?! Oh, that's right, this random dude does.

He asked if we could exchange numbers, but I tiptoed around it. I tiptoed around any sort of personal question (and by any, the only other personal question he asked me was if I worked close to the grocery store..which I do, so I told him yes, but I didn't elaborate beyond that). Maybe avoiding personal exchanges was for the best, but maybe I just blew my chance at finding my Him. What have I learned from this? I really need to work on my flirting/social skills!....Mama is severely RUSTY (when she hasn't had a glass or three of vino).

1 comment:

ChopperPapa said...

As a male, if I may, that guy is total douche-ness. Telling you within the first 5 minutes that he likes a large chest is a sign..... a sign to tuck tail and run.

Where do these men come from?!?!? Seriously?!?