Jealous. Resentful. Sexually frustrated.
Those are three not-so-positive things that seem to be encompassing my mood lately.
B$, a longtime friend of mine, has met the man of her dreams. They met three weeks ago, and in that time they've become a dreaded "we."
In case you're unfamiliar, a "we" person is one whose identity shifts from being independent, to being completely dependent. Instead of making independent decisions, a "we" person replaces the word "I" with "we." Friends ignore phone calls because they're spending time talking (non-stop) with their new beau. Plans are left up in the air because they aren't quite sure if the "we" has made a prior commitment...you get my drift? Yeah, it's not so much fun for those of us (read:ME) who aren't included in the "we."
Prior to meeting Mr. Right, B$ had been single all of nine months. In that time, the two of us related the way only single girls know how....we went out to group happy hours together, chatted, and would spontaneously hang out because everyone around us were in a relationships....
Now-a-days, I feel like I've lost a friend to the world of the "relationship"..and it's totally bumming me out.
Granted, this has nothing to do with my sexual frustration which is inevitable because woe is me.
I'm jealous that she became a "we", abandoning one of her long-time single friends*. I'm resentful that my life choices have lead me to becoming a single mother sans Mr. Right.
I've always been a hopeless romantic..but these days I'm beginning to become more and more hopeless...sans the romance. There's still a light inside of me that knows it'll be my turn, soon enough. I can't help but witness the light fade, ever so slightly, with each day that passes.
*something that torments me is I'm actually VERY happy for her...I'm just disgruntled at the time being because adjusting to a change like this is tough for me to digest.